This page is a library of all my articles. Here you’ll find writings on a wide array of miscellaneous subjects—philosophy, psychology, learning, improving, health, happiness and business to categorize a few. Find the latest article below. Scroll down to the end of the latest article to find all articles in reverse chronological order. Happy reading!

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  • Summary: How to Win Friends & Influence People (#114)

    This article is a summary for How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie (one of the greatest best-selling books of all time). Let’s dive in.

    This book is an action book. For “the great aim of education,” said Herbert Spencer, “is not knowledge but action.”

    Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

    1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
      Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
      Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself and condemn us in return; or, becoming resentful would say: “I don’t see how I could have done any differently from what I have.”
      As Dr. Johnson said: “God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.” Why should you and I?
    2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
      There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. Just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it. Remember, there is no other way.
      The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.
    3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
      First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.
      “How can I make this person want to do it?” That question will stop us from rushing into a situation heedlessly, with futile chatter about our desires.

    Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You

    1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
      You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
    2. Smile.
    3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
      We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing … and nobody else. The name sets the individual apart; it makes him or her unique among all others. The information we are imparting or the request we are making takes on a special importance when we approach the situation with the name of the individual. From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will work magic as we deal with others.
    4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
      Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on one’s neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa. Think of that the next time you start a conversation.
    5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
    6. Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.
      “Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.” — Disraeli

    Part Three: Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

    1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
      A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.
      When in a disagreement, consider the following steps to not transform that disagreement into an argument:
      Welcome the disagreement. (Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.)
      Distrust your first instinctive impression. (Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Keep calm.)
      Control your temper.
      Listen first. (Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate.)
      Look for areas of agreement. (When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree.)
      Be honest. (Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.)
      Promise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully. (And mean it. Your opponents may be right.)
      Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest.
      Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem. (Suggest that a new meeting be held later that day or the next day, when all the facts may be brought to bear.)
      In preparation for this meeting, ask yourself some hard questions:
      Could my opponents be right? Partly right? Is there truth or merit in their position or argument? Is my reaction one that will relieve the problem, or will it just relieve any frustration? Will my reaction drive my opponents further away or draw them closer to me? Will my reaction elevate the estimation good people have of me? Will I win or lose? What price will I have to pay if I win? If I am quiet about it, will the disagreement blow over? Is this difficult situation an opportunity for me?
    2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
      Our first reaction to most of the statements (which we hear from other people) is an evaluation or judgment, rather than an understanding of it. When someone expresses some feeling, attitude or belief, our tendency is almost immediately to feel “that’s right,” “that’s unreasonable,” or “that’s stupid,” “that’s abnormal,” “that’s incorrect.”, “that’s not nice.” Very rarely do we permit ourselves to understand precisely what the meaning of the statement is to the other person.
    3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
      By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.
    4. Begin in a friendly way.
      “A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.” — Abraham Lincoln
    5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
      In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing—and keep on emphasizing—the things on which you agree. Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose.
    6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
      La Rochefoucauld, the French philosopher, said: “If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.”
    7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
      Don’t you have much more faith in ideas that you discover for yourself than in ideas that are handed to you on a silver platter? If so, isn’t it bad judgment to try to ram your opinions down the throats of other people? Isn’t it wiser to make suggestions—and let the other person think out the conclusion?
      “The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, putteth himself below them; wishing to be before them, he putteth himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight; though his place be before them, they do not count it an injury. — Lao-tse
    8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
      “Stop a minute,” says Kenneth M. Goode in his book How to Turn People Into Gold, “stop a minute to contrast your keen interest in your own affairs with your mild concern about anything else. Realize then, that everybody else in the world feels exactly the same way! Then, along with Lincoln and Roosevelt, you will have grasped the only solid foundation for interpersonal relationships; namely, that success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of the other person’s viewpoint.”
    9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
      Wouldn’t you like to have a magic phrase that would stop arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create good will, and make the other person listen attentively?
      Yes? All right. Here it is:
      “I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.”
    10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
    11. Dramatize your ideas.
    12. Throw down a challenge.
      “The way to get things done,” says Schwab, “is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel.”

    Part Four: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

    1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
      Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain is pain-killing.
    2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
      Charles Schwab was passing through one of his steel mills one day at noon when he came across some of his employees smoking. Immediately above their heads was a sign that said “No Smoking. Did Schwab point to the sign and say, “Can’t you read?” Oh, no not Schwab. He walked over to the men, handed each one a cigar, and said, “I’ll appreciate it, boys, if you will smoke these on the outside.” They knew that he knew that they had broken a rule—and they admired him because he said nothing about it and gave them a little present and made them feel important. Couldn’t keep from loving a man like that, could you?
    3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
    4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
      Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable; it often stimulates the creativity of the persons whom you ask. People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued.
    5. Let the other person save face.
      The legendary French aviation pioneer and author Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote: “I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.”
    6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
      Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement.
    7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
    8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
    9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
      Always make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
      The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or behavior:
      1. Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.
      2. Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.
      3. Be empathetic. Ask yourself what it is the other person really wants.
      4. Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.
      5. Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.
      6. When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit. We could give a curt order like this:
      “John, we have customers coming in tomorrow and I need the stockroom cleaned out. So sweep it out, put the stock in neat piles on the shelves and polish the counter.”
      Or we could express the same idea by showing John the benefits he will get from doing the task:
      “John, we have a job that should be completed right away. If it is done now, we won’t be faced with it later. I am bringing some customers in tomorrow to show our facilities. I would like to show them the stockroom, but it is in poor shape. If you could sweep it out, put the stock in neat piles on the shelves, and polish the counter, it would make us look efficient and you will have done your part to provide a good company image.”

    The most fundamental message I received from the book:

    The other person is only what matters in handling people, making them like you, aligning their thinking with yours, and leading and managing them. It is always the other person.

    If interested, you can buy How to Win Friends & Influence People here.

    All credit to this article goes to How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

All Articles

Becoming Curious (#109)

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Mental Links (#108)

Note: mental links, mental models, mental connections, heuristics and systems thinking; all roughly mean the same in psychology. I’ll use the term “mental links” throughout this article. Our minds are incredible at linking and connecting things. Mental links are responsible for how we make sense of the world. We simplify … Continue reading “Mental Links (#108)”

Build People (#103)

People may forget what you say and people may forget what you do. But no one will ever forget how you made them feel Maya Angelou Read the above quote once again, if you please, and this time try noticing how your thoughts shoot up when you understand the words … Continue reading “Build People (#103)”

Big Mind, small mind (#101)

A popular idea in the Zen tradition—Big Mind, small mind—sets out to explain two different, and extreme perspectives of looking at the world. One is looking at everything from the cosmic scale, aka the Big Picture, broad view mind-set. Most astronauts undergo a profound cognitive shift when they observe the … Continue reading “Big Mind, small mind (#101)”


Today and this post together mark day and article #100 on this blog. The enthusiasm and desire to write everyday and share it with a delightful audience through this blog still reside sincerely in my heart, perhaps now more than ever. Since day 1 I’ve tried writing the best I … Continue reading “100”

098 Think Week

I read and think. Warren Buffett Bill Gates has revealed an important practice which helped him think very well during the early years at Microsoft. Twice a year, Gates would take a 7 day Think Week. He would go to a secluded location in Hood Canal, Washington with stacks of … Continue reading “098 Think Week”

097 Fear

Fear always screams loudest when your magic is closest Robin Sharma (EHM) Fear protected us (as it still does, but to a different extent). It was quite important at the time for our homo Sapiens species, when they were hunter-gatherers living in the wild, hunting for prey every afternoon, to … Continue reading “097 Fear”

096 Breaking the Chain

 Vicious cycles. They’re rather deadly. And you don’t want to be stuck in one. I think one of the finest parts about experiencing life is all the differences, all the amazingly vast and diverse stuff on our planet (and beyond!). There are so many different people and a limitless … Continue reading “096 Breaking the Chain”

091 Why I read

Reading books has recently become one of my many favorite things to do. I read everyday for a number of reasons (highlighted further below in this article). I made a goal of reading 25 books from cover to cover this year and I’m presently just one short of that big … Continue reading “091 Why I read”

090 Knowledge and TMI

Here’s the thing. We make stuff seem really complicated. Like really, really complicated. The two key words in the above phrase are make and seem. We live in a time where people tend to get vanquished by “information overload“. You’ve surely heard those two words together before. Information overload or … Continue reading “090 Knowledge and TMI”

088 Running out of time?

You’ll find two kinds of clichéd “motivational” advice given by “successful people” out there. One side says you have all the time in the world. Your life is just getting started. Be patient and trust the process. And the other says you’re running out of time. You need to have … Continue reading “088 Running out of time?”

080 Gratification

Being the species we are, it’s not really easily grasped by us that all our actions are driven through the motivations of our basic needs. It’s a very complex system of motivation and reward, and includes a lot of deep dendritic paths but they all meet at the main node … Continue reading “080 Gratification”

078 What is Burnout?

Burned out. We’ve been hearing that a lot relatively lately. People ranging from the 9-5 job category to famous YouTubers, celebrities, singers, and those “following their ambition” have shared about their perspective on burnout or have been burned out themselves. Whether you have a schedule that has the power to … Continue reading “078 What is Burnout?”

076 Why I run

* This article is the second of the “Why I” series – where I simply share about why I do a certain thing. “066 Why I write” was the first article in this series. For some context first: I deem myself a long distance runner who runs 5-6 days averaging … Continue reading “076 Why I run”

075 Alexander Hamilton: The Man Who Never Stopped

A politician, legal scholar, military commander, lawyer, banker, economist, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States, an influential interpreter and promoter of the U.S. Constitution, as well as the founder of the nation’s financial system, the Federalist Party, the United States Coast Guard, and the New York Post newspaper. First secretary of the treasury, writer … Continue reading “075 Alexander Hamilton: The Man Who Never Stopped”

068 Inspiration4

Richard Branson launched into space on 11 July, 2021. Just 9 days later on 20 July, Jeff Bezos went to space on his rocket. These were incredible achievements. Truly amazing giant leaps in space exploration in the private sector.But yesterday, 16 September, 2021, 2 months or so after the two … Continue reading “068 Inspiration4”

067 Aliens?

* This article is beyond what I usually talk about but I felt I could share about this subject here since my curiosity about space is like another part of me. And my recent learning process on astrobiology and other topics related to space exploration allow me to talk about … Continue reading “067 Aliens?”

066 Why I write

* This is the first out of many “Why I” articles to come as I plan to create a “Why I” article series where basically I’ll talk about why I do a certain thing. And I thought it’d be cool to kick it off with addressing the subject “why I … Continue reading “066 Why I write”

064 It’s hard either way

We’ve all probably heard someone say, “Life is hard” and at some point in our lives, we’ve all probably even experienced life’s hardness and it’s unwanted challenges thrown across our paths which make us feel like a failure or just unhappy. You see I think that life is what life … Continue reading “064 It’s hard either way”

058 Tough Days

Some days just get tough. You may also know them as the “bad days”, when just nothing seems to go right. Yes, there are those kinds of days or at least they are “days” which we organize to be in the “bad” category. And hypothetically we’ve all been through them. … Continue reading “058 Tough Days”

056 The 5 Minute Flow State

“The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times… The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.“ Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Through small bits of observations, I’ve come up to … Continue reading “056 The 5 Minute Flow State”

055 Are we getting Happier? (2/2)

* This is part 2 on the Happiness subject. You can read part 1 here. Revolution. Technology. Evolution. Greater average life expectancy of individuals. Declining poverty rates. Rise in educated individuals. Democracy. Freedom. Skyscrapers, air conditioners, cars and transport, landing on the moon, hoping to reach Mars, computers, books, schools, … Continue reading “055 Are we getting Happier? (2/2)”

053 Time flies

2020 may well have been the most despised year of this generation, but somewhere, somehow, due to situational circumstances, many came across correspondingly relative thoughts when we went into the second half of 2020, “I can’t believe that half the year is over already”. And sometime when we went into … Continue reading “053 Time flies”

052 The way to lead

There is a powerful simple proverb, which can take diverse forms. If well understood, that comprehension can save a lot of time lost due to confusion and blaming, and can create great consequences. It goes: The only one who can lead you is you. Why this is so important to … Continue reading “052 The way to lead”

050 Should-s

“ should verb1. used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions. “ Authority tells us to live in a certain way. It directs us to “should do” defined things. And to live in a way that we’re supposed to. This authority comes in various forms from … Continue reading “050 Should-s”

048 There is good!

“Not every day is good but there is certainly good in every day” Almost always we tend to classify days as being a good day or a bad day. The same grading is then applied with people (one is either a good person or a bad one), the decisions we … Continue reading “048 There is good!”

047 Stop Social Distancing!

This may well be the most controversial title I’ve chosen for any of the articles I’ve written so far, but hear me out by what I mean when I say “stop social distancing“. Even though it’s not great timing to write about this subject since most countries are almost on … Continue reading “047 Stop Social Distancing!”

045 ‘Vivo’

‘Vivo’, the Sony Pictures Animation musical is rooted upon a kinkajou, deeply passionate about music, who sets about on a journey of a lifetime to fulfil a dream of an old friend by delivering a love song. The “original songs” were written by Lin-Manuel Miranda who even voices the kinkajou … Continue reading “045 ‘Vivo’”

039 Why write it down

You may have heard this at least once if not myriad times in your life that- “you should write it down”. ‘it’ can refer to anything ranging from your goals, thoughts and ideas or a documentation and record of your day. It’s pretty much a cliché now (and annoying, sometimes) … Continue reading “039 Why write it down”

037 Doing Things Everyday

Doing things everyday is the best way to get better at anything. Without any speculation, there’s no substitute for getting the work you need to do, done. Just do it everyday. Don’t break the streak. After a while it’ll be like you cannot, you just cannot break the streak of … Continue reading “037 Doing Things Everyday”

036 Right or Left Brained?

You probably are aware of some of the research which divides the cerebrum of the brain into two hemispheres: Right and left. People normally like to refer to the classification as being a left brained or right brained person.The “right-brained” are generally creative and imaginative thinkers and work with their … Continue reading “036 Right or Left Brained?”

035 The Moon

I saw the Moon the night before the previous one. That may sound to many not as such a big deal. It’s really not, but it was for me on that night. I don’t really see the Moon quite often here. And especially during monsoon and when the clouds are … Continue reading “035 The Moon”

034 Auto-suggestion

“Man is what he believes”—Anton Chekhov Think about who you want to be, then become, by believing—who you want to be. Yesterday’s article “033 Subconscious” talked about the subconscious mind being a “memory bank” and the confederate through which we are able to carry out each and every automatic and … Continue reading “034 Auto-suggestion”

033 Subconscious

“Everything is within your power,and your power is within you.”―Janice Trachtman “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ―Carl Jung The subconscious mind is something I like to call a “memory bank”. It is responsible to define all our automatic … Continue reading “033 Subconscious”

030 Curiosity

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”—Albert Einstein “Adults are fools. Children are wise. For children everything is new. The adult hasn’t seen a new … Continue reading “030 Curiosity”

028 No human is limited.

Note: This article is not only on running. Eliud Kipchoge, a Kenyan long-distance professional runner aka “the greatest marathoner of the modern era” has countless achievements to his name. He is the world record holder in the marathon with an official time of 2:01:39, set on 16 September 2018, at the 2018 Berlin … Continue reading “028 No human is limited.”

025 Say “and” NOT “or”

So many of us—so often in life, as though always—have the tendency to make everything—every choice, decision, person, or article we like “or” dislike—an either…or situation. It’s always either this is good or that is good. And it always ends bad because, according to this principle way of living and … Continue reading “025 Say “and” NOT “or””

024 Systems and Goals

In Article 022 on “SMART Goals” I talked about how we can create “smarter” and better goals that are more reliable, and make it simpler to achieve them—because of the so-called fact that we have hence made that goals are one of the most accountable tools for success. You can … Continue reading “024 Systems and Goals”

023 Olympics 2020

Ah, the Summer Olympics. One of the most celebrated sporting events internationally. The games that provide countries the most pride when their athletes win medals. And for the athletes — winning a gold medal might just be the biggest achievement of a lifetime for them. So many (Olympian athletes and … Continue reading “023 Olympics 2020”

022 SMART Goals

We all have heard how goals are so important in determining success in everything, really and in any field. We need to be having a meaning and a direction to achieving something. As Napoleon Hill says is his so famous book “Think and Grow Rich“—“The starting point of all achievement … Continue reading “022 SMART Goals”

018 How ideas tip

The following article was influenced by the famous journalist, Malcolm Galdwell’s first book ever written—The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference. Gladwell defines a tipping point as “the moment of critical mass, the threshold, the boiling point”. Once an idea reaches the tipping point, the idea spreads like … Continue reading “018 How ideas tip”

017 Choose, don’t sacrifice

There is a huge difference between the two words “choice” and “sacrifice”. Yet, people use the word “sacrifice” where they really should mean “choice”. Let me explain- I’m sure you must have heard the word sacrifice many times. People say, “Oh, he’s sacrificing his dream job for his family.”, “I … Continue reading “017 Choose, don’t sacrifice”

016 Do What You Can’t

This article is inspired by a YouTube video created by the amazing Casey Neistat. You can watch it here. Now, let’s get to it. We are told: “stay in the safe zone”, “don’t ask questions”, “do as you’re told”, “live in your lane”, “learn to sacrifice”, “don’t dream too big”, … Continue reading “016 Do What You Can’t”


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