Arjun Khemani

“ should

verb
1. used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions. “

Authority tells us to live in a certain way. It directs us to “should do” defined things. And to live in a way that we’re supposed to. This authority comes in various forms from your teachers to social-media marketers. If looked at from a peculiar perspective, you may call this oppression.

“ You should get up early.
You should exercise more.
You should read more books.
You should learn how to code.
You should learn another language.
You should get into a good university.
You should get a job.
You should get married.
You should live within your means.
You should be humble
You should learn to sacrifice.
You should think realistically.
You should not question authority
You should not dream too big.
You should do what you’re told “

This is the first and last time in this article where I’ll ever recommend to “should” or “should not” do something:

You should not let those “shoulds” given above or any other “shoulds” given by any other person govern your life.

We have let these so-called shoulds and “supposed to” ways of living take over our lives so much that we have crushed all our originality, and the actions we want to pursue and given them up to these nonsensical “obligations“, as they now are, and let them control every decision and/or thought, if not every action of ours.

Our community is filled with people giving advice to other people on what they ought to do. Some advice may actually be good. But, other times it may not be so for the person receiving the unwanted advice on what he “ought to be doing”. We advice people to live in a certain way that we reckon is ideal, but not the universe. Because if that were the case, we would have no one to give our counsel to. The people or things signifying correct, good, incorrect and bad are all relative and different for everyone. It isn’t specified anywhere in nature that you are supposed to act and live in a certain way. But immediate environment and society have such a huge impact on our minds that we are led to have certain set beliefs that we let steer our decisions.

We are gravitated toward our preset assumptions and never do we really change them once they have been implanted by our self indirectly due to the influence of our surroundings. These beliefs lead to having perspectives on things being right and wrong. But there are no universally “right” things, nor there are things that are universally wrong. There are no shoulds. There isn’t anything that we must do. But there are only things that we can do.

In the end, a person with preset assumptions and closed-minded beliefs put upon due to societal influence too has the power to act on terms with what he really thinks deep down. And in accordance with what he can do, not what he should do. When you look at the world from the oh-so-broad perspective of what you can do (which is limitless) beyond the gravitating obligation of what you should do (which is extremely limited and only in accordance with your presets), you’ll feel that the universe and everything in it is yours, and most importantly you’ll have control over your own life back.

In the same way, I wish to put forth to people to not be the one giving the “should-do-this” advice. Rather giving possibilities of what the person can do. So as not to cage a person’s mind with only the sight of the narrow cell they inhabit, and leaving the vast horizons of life unexplored.